(Alarm ringing) Skipper, we're picking up an outgoing airborne target! It's on a north-by-southwest heading.
Air speed, 2 1/2 knots.
Altitude is 4 metres and climbing fast.
Private! You know how I feel about the metric system.
We go with feet and inches! Identifying target now.
It looks like we have another runaway red on our hands, Skipper.
Why is always the red ones? My balloon! (Crying) On my mark! Now! (Crying) Huh? Yeah! Ha! Gentlemen, today's operation was a success.
(Cheering) However, I have to ask, are we ready for the big one? The big one? El grande enchilada! Yum! Not the eating kind of enchilada! The in-your-face, knock you on your posterior kind of enchilada.
So, it's not actually food? Kowalski, we don't know what it actually is.
Then, how can we know if we're ready for it? Well, that's what today's all about.
The big one's today? Affirmative! The big one is coming today.
Around 4-ish.
Fortunately, I have spent months preparing for the big one.
And when my plan was complete, I knew what I had to do.
The plan was secured in a lockbox, and under the cover of darkness, I chose a top-secret location, at which I buried the top-secret plan.
A remote area of the zoo, where no human or animal ever goes.
Until, of course, they complete construction of the new children's zoo.
What? That's where the children's zoo is going to be.
Ground-breaking is today.
Blast! We only have 4 hours until the big one.
We need those plans! Perhaps a diversion? Oh, it's Live at 5's Chuck Charles, from the telly! We're here live at the Central Park Zoo for the ground-breaking of the new children's zoo.
There's our diversion.
I'm going in! You think Skipper needs back-up? Our Skipper? (Blowing raspberry) (Crashing) Skipper? Awaiting orders.
Oh, boy.
We must get him out of there! What should we do? Commence Operation: Get Skipper Out of the Locked Van.
The name needs work, but let's do it! Hey! Ugh! What was that? You were supposed to catch me! No, we were supposed to pick the lock.
Pow, pow, pow! (Satellite beeping) Ugh! Skipper! Okay, who hid my hairspray? Hey, what happened in here? Ugh, ah.
Are you all right, Skipper? Hey, get out of my shot.
This is Chuck Charles, with your late-breaking, local news! Is is he talking to the wall? Something horrible happened inside that news van! I wonder.
Theoretically, it's possible that the electrical receptors inside Skipper's brain picked up the signals from that van, and reprogrammed his functional senses to mimic the patterns of behaviour shown on the broadcast.
You mean? Yes, I think we can safely say that Skipper is stricken with anchor-mnesia! I'm Chuck Charles, and we're your Live at 5 news team! Gail Force with weather, Scooter Alvarez on sports, and as always, my co-anchor Bonnie Chang.
Bonnie Chang? But the big one is coming! We still need those plans! And even if we get the plans, we still need Skipper to be Skipper.
All right, I will randomly combine liquids and powders until I find a cure! This could take a while.
(Bell ringing) I'm with the Live at 5 news team, here on the scene! You are a penguin! How's that weekend forecast, Gail? I'm Private! Look, I waddle, and you waddle too, because you're Chuck Charles, and I know the news! Look! Penguins swim.
Well, Gail, looks like another wet (Gargling) And that's the news! Ugh! Status report? Still Chuck Charles! And the anchor-mnesia cure is a bit behind schedule.
(Bell ringing) We only have 1 hour! Yeah, I need at least 7,000.
Years.
(Babbling) Don't worry, Rico.
Skipper's gone? Here's your Live at 5 exclusive interview with King Julian! Yes, but you can call me King Julian.
Do you have any comment about the rumours? Uh, what rumours? Oh, don't play coy! We all know what they're saying about your royal family! Lies, all lies! This interview is over! And we're out! Fantastic interview.
Well, thank you! Care for some fruit? It is tasty and nice, except maybe the grapes.
I'm not 100% on those.
Could your grapes be poisoning you? Find out at 5! And we're out! Oh, news I can use! Let's now be running off! Chuck Charles has a The technical term for our situation is done-ski! Bonnie, are you doing something different with your hair? I like it! Skipper would want us to go get those plans! But how can we do that when Skipper Now over to Scooter Alvarez, with the highlights and the lowlights.
I am not Scooter Alvarez! I don't even know what a Scooter Alvarez is! Okay, we're just going to have to do it without him.
But I know, but what choice do we have? Skipper would want us to carry on without him.
Keep an eye on Scooter.
He's not quite himself today.
Uh, no, I'm here with those scores, or my name's not Scooter Alvarado! Alvarez.
Exactly.
Okay, uh, we're going to go out for a while, Chuck.
Um, so you just stay here in the studio.
According to the map, we should be digging over there.
With all this construction? There are too many witnesses! Must think.
What would Skipper do? Precariously perch himself high atop the crane? I don't see how that would help.
Oh, it won't, but that is what Skipper's doing.
This is your Live at 5 eye in the sky! Ugh, he is not making this easy! Easy? Was it easy for Manfredi and Johnson when that undersea escape tunnel turned out to be the business end of a beluga whale? They couldn't even speak for a month! And even then, it was gibberish.
So, if this is going to be hard, that's fine with me! Yeah! Let's do this thing! And all other things required of us.
Hiya! Can you describe to the folks at home how you're feeling right now? Bluh, ugh! You heard it here first! This is Chuck Charles reporting! Huh? Do I connect the red one to the blue one, or the blue one to the red one? I don't know! That's the sort of thing Skipper would normally decide.
Now, be honest with me.
Do you like my good side, or my even better side? But there isn't anything normal about this! Perhaps if I bypass Ahh! Ah, stop! I see the plans! Come on, we have to hurry! (Grunting) Got it! Yes! Yes! What did we do? How should I know who moved the 'dozer? Our top story! Chuck Charles and the news team get buried alive! Well, at least we saved the top-secret plans.
Although it might have been preferable to not be buried alive with them! (Babbling) Yes, Rico, it is just about 4-ish.
Then, we better check out Skipper's top-secret plan! (Coughing) What? SKIPPER: Is the team ready for the big one? We shall see.
Afraid not! But what is it? Some sort of natural disaster? You might think it might be some sort of natural disaster, but you'd be wrong! No, the big one is the greatest challenge of all.
What happens if one member of the team is out? What if we didn't have young Private's heart? Kowalski's brains? Rico's appetite for reckless destruction? I don't know! Uh, I suppose that would be bad.
Or what if the team leader were inexplicably acting like a pompous anchorman? What if, indeed? Yes, what if oh! Hang on! You were faking it! Bingo! It was all a test? And the team came through! Huzzah! We're ready for the big one! Yes, we are.
We are also running out of oxygen.
(Gasping) Kowalski, give me options.
Rico sets an explosive charge under this, blasting it straight up through the dirt and rock.
Private: And we all hang onto it! Skipper: Ooh, sounds like a wild ride! Rico? Rico: (Coughing) (Explosion) I don't get how a bulldozer just turns on by itself! Rico: Woo-hoo! Private: We did it! Kowalski: We kicked the big one's butt! Skipper: And we're out!
