- I am Dave!
- I've never been married!
- You may not remember me, but I could never forget you!
- Here are your new and improved penguins!
- The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for REVENGE! and my souvenir snow globe collection.
- I made a monster! I made a monster!
- Now, if you excuse me, I have to go do some shopping...FOR REVENGE!
- Oh, no. What's happening? Nobody likes you anymore? Well, the fun and games are just beginning. Watch this, penguins! Someone call the Exterminators!
- Dave (monologue): New York City. The Central Park Zoo. Life was good. Roomy tank, great location, monkey house views, and of course my adoring legion of fans! Dave! The octopus of a thousand tricks. I was the total package. And then, you arrived and took everything from me...Four adorable baby penguins. With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore. Out you go, Dave! And so it went, over and over, at zoo after aquarium. Adorable penguins stole the show. While I was shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted. Alone.
- Nicolas, cage them.
- Drew, Barry, more power.
- Charlize, They're on the ray!
- Helen, hunt them down!
- William, hurt them.
- Halle, bury them!
- Hugh, Jack, man the battle stations!
- Kevin, bake on! We're still gonna need that victory cake!
- In fact, Robin, Write this down.
- Elijah, would you take them away?
- The cheese, it burns!
- Suck it up, Kowalski!
- Call off the hunt, everyone. It looks like the elite unit is coming to us!
- Ahoy there, (singsongy voice) Penguins!
Conversations involving him
Dave: Greetings North Wind I see you met my old zoo mates
Skipper: We were never mates, There was no mating!
Classified: Turn yourself in, David! You're powerless now that I've stolen you precious Medusa Serum!
Skipper: You? You didn't steal that!
Classified: It's over...
Dave: Over? then what did I call you for...weird...OH MAYBE IT WAS TO SHOW YOU THIS! [Dave move the camera around to reveal a big vat of medusa serum]
Kowalski: That's a lot of serum for four penguins
Dave: Oh you thought this was just about you four...Oh..no...no...no...We're just getting started. (snaps a selfie) Now if you excuse me I have to go do some shopping...FOR REVENGE!
Skipper: I got some bad news for you Dennis, You messed with the wrong birds because we are an elite unit the best of the best. The cream of the corn on a platinum cob! And we're gonna take your deadly green goop and sashay right out the exit hatch.
Dave: And how are you going to do that?
Skipper: Deploy secret weapon! [Rico blasts Dave and his minions with cheese dust]
Dave: Ah! The cheese, it burns! [The Penguins escape]
Dave(to his minions): After them!
Dave: Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private...Boop
Skipper: Who are you?
Dave: The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine…Renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast…and frequent donor to NPR Pledge drives. But you know me by a different, much older name A name perhaps you'd hoped you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I! AM! DAVE!
Kowalski: Sorry, sir. No clue.
Rico: Bleh! [cricket chirping]
cricket: Sorry. [cricket walks away]
cricket: Wait, wait...Uh...I live this way. [cricket walks the other way]
Dave: You seriously don't remember me?
Skipper: Dave! Dave! Right! Oh, yeah, long time! Uh...how's the wife? [Dave Punches Skipper]
Dave: I've never been married! You may not remember me but I could never forget you!