Scene I: Flashback
The Penguins are in a cactus and they move to a house. Kowalski, Private and Skipper come out of the top and Kowalski breathes and Rico comes out from the bottom.
Skipper: Rico, weapons check.
Rico shakes all of his body. Clanging, crashing, clicking, and whirring sounds are heard.
Skipper: Kowalski? Intelligence.
Kowalski: Substantially above average, but I don't like to brag.
Skipper glances a look.
Kowalski: Oh, the map. Right here.
He shows him the map.
Skipper: Private? Snack cakes.
Private holds out his flipper to reveal three snack cakes. The nilla cream sparkles.
Private: Swiss Delight, Nilla Cream, and a Peanut Butter Winky.
Skipper: All right, men, let's move in.
Aside to Private as Kowalski and Rico move on.
Skipper: Private, dibs on the Peanut Butter Winky.
Inside the wood house
Skipper uses his flipper to open the lock of the door and they went inside.
Skipper: Easy does it, men. This could well be a trap.
The penguins sneak over to some crates.
Rico sticks out his tongue, holding a coin. Skipper takes the coin and tosses it across the room to the middle of the floor. It stops and the platform rises, hitting the ceiling, and comes back down.
Kowalski: Well played, Skipper.
Skipper: It seems Dr. Blowhole isn't as smart as he thinks he is...!
The house immediately shoots down and a series of spikes stick out of the ceiling. The sides fell down and the penguins are on the ceiling, dodging the spikes.
Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Private: I don't think the peanut butter winky made it, Skipper.
The peanut butter winky is cut through and chocolate covers the spike.
Skipper: Curse you, Blowhole!
The spikes disappear, the penguins got down, and the house goes back up. Suddenly, a dolphin noise is heard; lights come on a flipper, heading straight for them. The flipper rises and the flipper appears to be none other then Dr. ...
Blowhole: Well, Pen-you-ins, we meet once again.
Skipper: Well, well, Blowhole, it's been a long time.
Blowhole: Well, well, well, too long.
Skipper: Well, well, well, well...
He rises out of the water, using a machine that allows him to roam around on land.
Blowhole: I suppose you are wondering why it is that I have laid a ridiculously complicated trap for you.
Private: Actually, yes I am.
The Penguins turn to glare at him.
Blowhole: Why tell when I can show? You will appreciate this, Kowalski.
Blowhole presses a green button and a TV with stereo speakers appear.
Blowhole: I have installed a lair theater system. High-Definition with Surround Sound. Extreeeeeeeemely spendy.
Kowalski: Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?
Blowhole: Hey, hey, hey. Eyes on the big screen. See?
The screen shows a picture of a lobster.
Skipper: Delicious dipped in butter. What's your point?
Blowhole: Now, imagine, this crustacean had an exoskeleton of.... shiny metal!
The claw enlarges to demonstrate the metal.
Blowhole: Pen-you-ins, I present...
He presses the green button.
Deep Voice: Chrome Claw!
Blowhole: Mmm. Did you feel that sub-woofer?
Kowalski: (jealous) Ah, he's just rubbing my face in it.
Blowhole: Without you Pen-you-ins around to foil my plans, I will unleash...
He presses the button.
Deep Voice: Chrome Claw!
Blowhole: ...on an unsuspecting world. With mutant monster at my side, I will rule land and sea!
He cackles, until he falls backwards on his vehicle. Then, he comes back up.
Private: Um, back up to that "without you" part, please.
Skipper: I get the gist. Rico!
Rico spat out a bunch of weapons including a flamethrower, a chainsaw, a knife, an anchor, an aerosol spray can, a hammer, a crowbar, a bazooka, and a black "cartoon" bomb. But a magnet grabs them and takes them away.
Suddenly, lasers appeared cocking, aiming for our flightless birds.
Skipper: We got us a laser show, boys.
Blowhole: Who's foiled now?
The lasers fired and the penguins dodged them. Then, Skipper remembers something.
Skipper: Foil? Private, snack cakes!
Private: Is this really the time to--
Private holds out his flipper and passes the Nilla Cream to Skipper. Skipper uses the snack as a shield against the lasers. It bounced back to Blowhole, missing him. Skipper passes the cake to Rico and reflect the lasers back at the gun, destroying it.
Blowhole: (confused) Say what?
Private tosses the Swiss Delight to Kowalski, who throws it at the evil dolphin's blowhole. He gasps, struggling trying to get it out, but his flippers were to short to get it out, so he can breathe.
Kowalski: Aspirate Swiss Delight, Bottlenose!
Blowhole falls into the water. The penguins high-fived each other, and Dr. Blowhole rises out to the water again in a bubble vehicle.
Blowhole: You have seen the last of Dr. Blowhole!
Skipper: (sarcastically) Good. Run.
Blowhole: Oh. You think... Right. Uh, I mean, this is the last you will see of anything!
He cackles as he flies out of the base.
Deep Voice: Self destruct in...
Scene II: The Zoo Food Court
Private: Five seconds! That's right. We had only five seconds. But we escaped with half of a second to spare! It was a ripping adventure.
The whole adventure turned out to be a real tale, told by Private, who was telling that to Marlene, Mason, Phil, and a chameleon.
Marlene:(sarcastic) Oh. Oh, so, a dolphin super-villain? No, I totally believe you.
Private: No, really, Marlene, he's our arch enemy. Pure evil. With skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch. (takes out a mission file.) Look, I've got the mission file to prove it.
Marlene, Phil, Mason and the Chameleon look at it, but Skipper lands on the book.
Skipper: Whoa, whoa, wah, hoo, wah, ha! That's top secret, Private. Eyes only. My eyes. Not even sure about your eyes. Leave alone her eyes.
Marlene glances a look and Kowalski and Rico come along.
Kowalski: Actually, Skipper, these files are de-classified now.
Skipper: Pin-head pencil pushers. They have no idea.
Skipper sends the book to Marlene. They are drawings in the book.
Marlene: Oh, they're... nice. Look, I know you guys do your commando thing around here, and you do it, you know, well. But come on.
Julien peeks from a brick wall.
Marlene: I mean, Secret lairs? Chrome Claw? Super-spy stuff? Please.
Julien: Did you say spy? (laughs) I'm a spy. I've been spying on you this whole time.
He clicks his fingers and Maurice pushs a chair and Julien leaps on to it.
Julien: I could have a fancy spy-car that can shoot things out of the headlights. No, fog-lights. (gets in Marlene's face.) They won't expect that.
Skipper: (chuckles) You, Ring-tail? Facing the likes of Dr Blowhole? He's pure evil. With skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch. (gets in his face) You wouldn't last five minutes.
The clock chimes nine. Opening time!
Private: Oh dear. We're open.
All the animals, except Julien. ran off to their habitats. The visitors enter. The kids are laughing. Julien returns home, upset.
Scene III: Lemur Habitat
Julien: I still say I could be a spy guy.
Then, Mort comes, tied and gagged by seaweed. He falls to his feet.
Julien: Mort, if this is a ploy to get to the royal feet, it's very clever, but ineffective.
Muffled, Mort points with his ears.
Julien: What is that on you, anyway? You smell like the fish weed.
A snapping sound is heard. Mort runs, and a mysterious creature is heading toward Julien.
Julien: Whoa! Who the hecks are you? NOOOOO!
Julien is captured.
Scene IV: Penguin HQ (Outside)
Skipper, Kowalski and Rico are waving and Private is upset.
Private: Sorry, Skipper. I'm not feeling very cute or cuddly today.
Kowalski: Oh, stop. You're always cute and cuddly and you know it.
Private: (joining the waving) I'm just cheesed that Marlene doesn't believe in Dr Blowhole.
Skipper: Better that she doesn't, Private. Imagine if she blabbed and that mad doctor discovered our secret zoo HQ.
Scene V: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Blowhole has got an army of lobsters spying on the Penguins.
Lobster #1: Dr. Blowhole, satellite targeting has a lock on the enemy. And they are some way convenient.
He snaps his claws.
Blowhole: (cackles) Excellent work, Red One. Prepare Pen-you-in transmission.
There's a feedback noise.
Blowhole: Pen-you-ins, I have found you.
Scene VI: Penguin HQ (Outside)
Scene VII: Penguin HQ (Inside)
Private: Where is he?
Blowhole: Greetings, my flightless foes.
Kowalski: Oh, he's only on the TV.
Skipper: Get off of our TV.
Blowhole: I have been spying on you, pen-gu-ins, for months with state-of-the-art lookie lou technology.
Kowalski: Always gets the good stuff!
Skipper: Yeah, he's fine. Go on.
Blowhole: Uh, right. Anyway, I have unmasked your Achilles heel, Skipper, your greatest vulnerability. Aside from the flightlessness.
Skipper: You fiend! You cut off the peanut butter winkie supply lines!
Scene VIII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Blowhole: What? No, but somebody write that down.
Scene IX: Penguin HQ (Inside)
Blowhole: I have struck the cruellest blow of all. I assure you, Skipper, your world will be rocked, life will be drained of meaning, for I have captured your best friend!
Julien: I have been "kingnapped" by ninja shellfish! This is outrageous! And a little embarrassing, quite frankly.
Skipper: You think he's my best friend?
Blowhole: Oh, Skipper, don't play coy with me. My brain is bigger than your whole body. Look at you two. Obvious BFFs.
Skipper: Kowalski, the code.
Kowalski: Buffalo fire fighter, no. Baby fat flinger, no. Ah! Best friends forever.
Skipper: You're stark raving mad! Not you, Kowalski. Him.
Julien: Uh, let's not be making him madder.
Blowhole: This time I will triumph. Just try and stop me and your fuzzy little buddy sleeps with the fishes.
Kowalski: Well, technically fish don't sleep so much as rest. You'd think a dolphin would know that. Unless he means-- Ooh.
Skipper: Can you believe that Blowhole? "Fuzzy little buddy."
Private: You and Julian do spend a good bit of time together.
Kowalski: Quality time.
Rico: Mm hmm.
Skipper: Ringtail and I are not friends. Case closed. That's it, let's go rescue him. What? It's the penguin way.
Private: A penguin never leaves his fuzzy little buddy behind.
Skipper: You'll find sarcasm is more effective if you don't giggle it out like a naughty schoolgirl, Private.
Private: Right, sir.
Kowalski: One thing doesn't add up. If Julien is missing, why hasn't anybody actually missed him?
Scene XI: Lemur Habitat
Maurice: Whoa-ho, Skipper. Why so jumpy?
Skipper: Why is he letting you touch his feet?
Mort: It's not because he's a fake King Julien.
Maurice: Though come to think of it, the King has been little a low maintenance. Mort, is there something you haven't told me?
Mort: Only that ninja lobsters tied me in kelp and replaced the real King Julirn with this one that lets me touch his feet, why?
Maurice: Hmm, is that all?
Skipper: Glowing red eyes. That's almost never good. Hupt!
Man: MY CAR!!!
Mort: Yay-- Ow!
Skipper: Kowalski, run a trace.
Kowalski: Picking up salty sea air, roller coaster grease and all beef wiener. With mustard.
Skipper: Coney Island.
Private: Subway convenient, at least.
Skipper: No. They'll be expecting that.
Scene XII: Penguin HQ (Outside)
Skipper: Commence butt wiggling now! Wiggle butt!
Kowalski: Carbonation agitation reaching critical level. And lift off.
Scene XIII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
After Dr. Blowhole and Julien stop laughing maniacally...
Julien: Question: why are we laughing?
Blowhole: Question: how did the prisoner escape?!
Julien leaps on him.
Julien: Prisoner escaped?!? Is he dangerous?
Blowhole: annoyed No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.
Julien: Oh, I know the type. So, let's talk.
Blowhole: Ah-ah-ah! I can't see!
Julien: Then I will be your eyes. Turn left, turn right, then do a loopedy-loop!
Blowhole: Get off me!
Julien: Ah, see? We make an excellent team.
Julien: I am willing to overlook your fishiness.
Blowhole: A dolphin is not a fish. I am all mammal, I assure you.
Julien: If you say so, fishy face.
Blowhole: No, really. Why do you think I have this hole in my head?
Julien: Uh Yeah, I was trying not to stare at that. Blowhole: To breathe oxygen. Mammal!
Julien: Then you and I are much alike.
Blowhole: Oh, please. Lobsters!
Blowhole: Ow, you're poking me!
Lobster #2: Can't help it, Doc.
Julien: Yoo-hoo, my hands are all soft, and oh, look at that. What is this? Thumbs. Two of them. They make my hands handy for picking things up.
Julien: Ooh, your skin is surprisingly pleasant to the touch.
Blowhole: Always make time to moisturize.
Julien: So, I have a proposal for you. Not the marriage kind of proposal, a different kind.
Blowhole: Hold that thought. Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah.
Lobster #2: I'm on top of it, Doc.
Private: Oh, the splash zone! Good seats.
Lobster #3: Come on, come on. Boss man needs a treat. Ow!
Scene XVI: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Skipper: Nice work. Let's find Ringtail.
Private: There he is.
Julien: Hello, slap-happy penguins!
Private: He doesn't look very captured, does he?
Skipper: Not even a little.
Blowhole: That would be a horrible way to treat my partner
Julien: In crime.
Scene XVII: Lemur Habitat
Mort: The King! The King's feet! The King's feet must be saved!
Maurice: Mort, I'm telling you. You've got to chill, man.
Maurice: Penguins are on the case.
Mort: Pah! The King needs me.
Scene XVIII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Blowhole: I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.
Skipper: (annoyed) Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Private: There's nothing good on Telly tonight anyway.
Blowhole (hovering over Private): Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up. It's called...
Computer Voice: Ring of Fire.
Blowhole: It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed tricks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.
Private: Sorry. Did he say "bitter" or "better"?
Skipper: Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.
Kowalski: No, that would be the high ceilings.
Blowhole: My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core.
Four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing.
Skipper: Oh, come on.
Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper.
Blowhole: Do you mind? I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-aly quite a shocker.
Skipper: It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans...
Private: ...activate the Ring of Fire...
Kowalski: ...melt the Arctic...
Skipper: Well, how did we do, punk?
Blowhole: (slightly surprised) You're... in the ball park.
Scene XX: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Julien: And then the planet's water levels will rise and rise and then justice for everybody!
Blowhole: No. Then I will have my revenge because the humans will be jumping through hoops.
Julien: Oh. Well, can I have a jet ski, then?
Scene XXII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Skipper: You know, we're going to stop you.
Blowhole: You can try, but this time I have an army of crustacean warriors!
Skipper: Yeah, we can take them.
Blowhole: Oh, really, Skipper? Give us all you pen-gu-ins got.
Blowhole: So they cut down 10, 20 lobsters. We've got more lobsters!
Lobster #2: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Scene XXIV: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Julien: How can the penguins do anything? They are thoroughly trapped.
Blowhole: Trust me, they never stay trapped.
Skipper: Don't lose hope, boys. Sometimes all it takes is one lucky serendipitous break.
Mort: The King's feet must be freed!
Mort: I took the subway.
Julien: Mort, I am not even a prisoner. Oh, and by the way, not a feet!
Skipper: Nice work, sad eyes.
Blowhole: See, see? This is what I'm talking about. Lobsters, attack! Lobsters: Lobster pile!
Julien: You have to understand, he's just such a freak.
Computer Voice: Ring of Fire activated.
Skipper: You fiend.
Blowhole: You know it. Come, fellow evil mammal. Join me and bask in our victory.
Julien: Oh, I do like basking.
Chuck Charles: This is Chuck Charles coming to you live from the Arctic circle where the mysterious and sinister towers have erupted from underground.
Chuck Charles: where they form a giant-- Sorry. They form a giant circle around the North pole. This can only be described as a hoop of heat.
Blowhole: Ring of Fire!
Mort: I do not like this show.
Skipper: Me neither. Let's pull the plug.
Blowhole: Oh, Skipper, you have more urgent matters to deal with.
Skipper: Like what?
Blowhole: Like a certain mutation I like to call...
Deep Voice: Chrome Claw!
Skipper: Ah, so you did get around to making that monster.
Blowhole: Yes, and I'm rather pleased with how he turned out.
Kowalski: That would be extremely impressive if it weren't about to--
Skipper: Put an end to this madness!
Blowhole: I am victorious! I am suddenly moving backwards. Hey, off!
Kowalski: No need to panic. I'm smarter than that egomaniac. The big red button turned it on, therefore the big blue must--
Computer Voice: Heat output increased to a ludicrous level. Arctic meltdown will now be even faster.
Blowhole: Thank you, Kowalski.
Chuck Charles: The North Pole is surely doomed as this hoop of heat melts the ice and snow at an alarming rate. Whoa! This is Chuck Charles and I cannot swim. Help.
Scene XXVI: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Kowalski: Ha! Green. The green button will surely--
Computer Voice: Heat output increased beyond all reason.
Skipper: Kowalski, status report!
Kowalski: Mostly not good with hints of horrible.
Blowhole: You have failed, Skipper. Bad news for nonswimmers.
Julien: Yoo-hoo, Blowy.
Blowhole: I'm a little busy.
Skipper: Can't you see we're tussling?
Julien: I just thought that you wanted to know that I am not going to side with evil. I am a double agent!
Blowhole and Skipper: What?
Julien: I am the good guys' spy!
Computer Voice: Ring of Fire shutdown in progress.
Kowalski: Oh, purple was my next guest.
Blowhole: NOOOOO!!! Mort: Yay for King Julian! He is the best double agent ever!
Chuck Charles: This is Chuck Charles reporting that the planet, and more importantly I, have survived this disaster.
Scene XXVIII: Dr. Blowhole's Lair
Blowhole: You have foiled my plan for revenge, but for that I will get revenge!
Skipper: Wait, are we talking a new revenge here?
Blowhole: Revenge against the humans, revenge against you. Yes, I've got a whole bunch of revenges all piling up and it's not pretty.
He cackles as he flies out of the base.
Scene XXIX: The Zoo Food Court
Julien: If you ask me, the not pretty part was the bad guy running away like a scaredy baby. He was no match for me: double agent spy guy.
Marlene: You're kidding, right?
Julien: No, Marlene. You are wrong again. Shut it.
Mort: I helped.
Marlene: Uh, Julien the double agent saves the world? Come on.
Julien: Uh, so I faced danger and the adventure of a lifetime and nobody would ever know about it?
Skipper: Welcome to my world. That makes you an honorary penguin.
Julien: Does that mean I am your BFF?
Skipper: Uh, we'll keep that code on QT.
Mort: King Julien is a buffalo fire fighter!