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Misfortune Cookie.jpg

Scene I

Okay, that's one order of general tso shrimp, one fried rice, one veggie chow mein, and two kung pao scallops. You are correct. Okay, that's $35. 84. We'll be there in 20 minutes. I got $1. 17. - And rico got the rest, which is both impressive and gross. - Pack it up, boys. We're on. - Here you go, sir. Keep the change. - It's all change. You are correct. My friends Dinner is served. Take note, maurice. Tonight chow mein is my main chow. Take another note, Maurice. Never am I eating chow mein again. Excuse me. General tso and his shrimp beat me tonight. Oh, well played, General. Skipper, I hope you saved room for a fortune cookie. Private, there's always a room for a fortune cookie. I say, would you like Phil and I read your fortune? Knock yourselves out. Oh, your decisive skills make you a natural leader. Well, thanks. But what does the cookie say? That was it. Oh, well, the cookie is quite perceptive. Kowalski You're careful and considerate. After careful consideration, I concur with the cookie. Oh, read mine, read mine! Your heart is a fountain of joy. It's true. It is. How about yours, Rico? Egad, man. Are you certain you are reading that right? What does it say? Eh, your smiles are like rays of sunshine, warm and inviting. My, look at the time, we must dash. Hold up, chimp. I smell monkey business. - You do? - Yeah, I do Rico, smile. That is not a warm and inviting smile. More like creepy and unsettling. Right. So, chimp, what's that fortune really saying? Fine. It says you will soon meet a foul end. Rico! Get a hold of yourself, man. Fortunes don't mean anything. Wait a minute, Skipper. Yours did. That's called the exception that proves the rule. And mine did too. - The other exception. - And Kowalski's? - Okay! They were exceptional cookies, but that doesn't prove anything.

Kowalski: Fortunes are mere superstition.
King Julien: Yes! These 'stitions' ARE super! That is why you must listen to them. This is a curse! Your friend has been given a Misfortune Cookie!
Private: A what?
King Julien: A Misfortune Cookie. It is like a regular fortune cookie, except it is filled with hate, and bile! And sugar. And evil!
Private: Oh! That doesn't sound good. Except for the sugar part.
King Julien: You need the sugar, or the bile will overwhelm the flavour. Anyway, it is only a matter of time before Chico-
Skipper: -Rico.
King Julien: -Rico, meets his foul end!
(Rico whimpers)

Come on, Rico, you not gonna believe this ringtail nutjob over your level headed friends, are you? Good man! Got me nines? No. Go fishies!

King Julien: Maurice, I worry about those penguins. What will make them believe in curses?
Maurice: Short of that penguin meeting a foul end? Nothing.
King Julien: Ah, but what if we made Freako-
Maurice: -Rico.
King Julien: Rico, meet a foul end? Then the penguins would believe!

Maybe, but then it wouldn't be the curse. Wouldn't it, Maurice? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. And I'm pretty not. No, wait, not. I'm pretty, very very pretty, so pretty. Mort! Tell me I am pretty. You are pretty. Thank you. See, Maurice. Mort agrees with me. Case closed. All right. What do you have in mind? Rico, you can't hide in there forever. True, an unusual series of offence seems to be conspiring against you but does that mean you cursed? - Yup. - Rico, say that you're cursed, do you really think a fortress of pillows would protect you? Look, curse is unreal, there's another explanation out there. And I intend to find it. This cart is uncapable of self-locomotion. - So the cart was pushed. - Precisely! I just started to eat my hay when something sharp like a needle popped me right on the butt. Compelling Skipper, look! Lemur fur. Lemur fur with a lot of hair products. This can only mean one thing. Don't play dumb with me, ringtail! Who says I'm playing? We know you're behind the so-called mishaps. This is an outrageousness for you to accuse me like a snake. Yo! We've got a snake to bite Rico. This will convince those penguin Yeah, forget it. Okay, you caught me with the red hands, I did it all. And you are gonna undid it all. And so it was me who made all those scary things happen on you. See, Rico? There's no curse after all. I don't think he believes me. Options. I need options. I have an "in" with the sky spirits. I can ask them to break the curse. Oh, come on. Your mumbo-jumbos no more real than a fortune cookies. Yes, but if Rico is willing to believe in one superstition. Perhaps he'll believe in another. No way. Ringtail has done enough damage. Kowalski, give me some more options. Okay, give me a minute. Here we go. We can replace Rico's brain with a wombat's. - How would that help? - I don't know, but I've got to do something with this. Okay, I guess we do it your way. Yeah! I'll get my curse-breaking crown. Rico! I was wrong, oh, so very very wrong. The curse is real, it's up to the sky spirits now. Go to the ringtail. Go. Come closer! Closer! A little more closer! Wait, OK, that's too close, take one step back, another one little half step. Right there.

King Julien: Tell me, flightless bird Pico-
All: -RICO!
King Julien: -Rico, why are you here?!

- You know why he's here. - Excuse me. Are you wearing the big hat? No? Trust me, it's a part of a ritual. Go on. Okay, didn't catch any of that. So let's skip the Qs and the As and move right into the curse removal. Three terrible trials await you. The first is the journey of a thousand tears. You will walk the secret path of Tikis. Peeling an onion while you are repeatedly smacked by the fishies. Next is the journey of a thousand burdens. You will carry the heavy things and whistle while you do it. Finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos. Eh, slight clinch though we only have one rhino, so you have to do it thousand times. Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials. By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count. And now, by the power invested in me by the sky spirits - I pronounce you curse free. - Yeah! Julian did it, Rico is cured. Or at least he thinks he is. Works for me. Oh, dude, sorry, my bad. At least I'm comfortable. Mad men is why we don't fly. Skipper, do you realise what just happened? Duck is a water fowl. And so its ducks bump is a fowl end. Rico met a foul end. The curse was real. - Told you! - Yeah!

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