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Doctor: There you are, now please hold still this won't hurt at all


Skipper: This is just a routine visit to the doctor. Turn and cough, boys. Turn and cough.


Skipper: That's a big needle!


Skipper: Think again, Doctor Deranged! I don't do needles.


Skipper: Gentlemen, had this had been an actual tennis ball machine uprising, we would've lost. Game, set, match.


Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: We'll need a diversion. I suggest releasing the spider monkeys. Bedlam is their middle name.
Skipper: They never disappoint.
Kowalski: Amid the chaos, we escape through the south entrance.
Skipper: Good. And then?
Kowalski: Then we get jobs as holiday store displays. When we've earned enough money, we build a new secret lair, one with laser beams.
Private: Ooh, laser beams!


Mason: Phil, I don't know how to break this to you: There is no checkmate in checkers. [Phil signs angrily. Mason gasps] You groom your mother with those hands?!


Kowalski: The point is, fear of medical professionals is completely unwarranted. Yes, the benefits to one's health and personal well being are much too important...
Alice: Looks like you penguins are due for a visit to the dentist.
Kowalski: The dentist?! Aaaaah! [runs away]
Private: But we don't have teeth.


Private: I don't mean to be cheeky, but why'd the doctor have to give the shots in the bum?
Kowalski: Our fleshy buttocks make ideal distribution points for injected medicines. Ugh! Unfortunately.


Private: Skipper, what are you doing here?
Skipper: Saving you from saving me.
Private: But really, I don't mind having another shot. I can always...turn the other cheek. He-he!
Skipper: You'll mind if it makes you sick. Or worse.
Private: How worse?
Skipper: You know, the chimps didn't say. I assumed you'll grow a second head or something.
Private: I don't want a second head!
Skipper: Then hurry, man! The doc will be here any second.
[Skipper tosses Private towards the window, but misses and he hits the wall; Private then climbs up to the window and turns to Skipper]
Private: You know Skipper, none of us think any less of you for being afraid.
Skipper: Well, I do. That fear almost hurt a friend. Now get out of here, soldier.


Private: I'm sorry, Skipper.
Skipper: Don't be sorry, Private. Be alert. You never know when our enemies will strike...
[Suddenly, cages drop on the penguins]
Skipper: What the ham steak?
Private: Um, Skipper, is this still part of the drill?


'Skipper: [as Kowalski goes to get his shot] Be strong, Kowalski.
Kowalski: [gets his shot] Good Galileo Galile-EEEEEEEEEE!
Skipper: Man's a butcher.


Kowalski: Oh, Skipper, there is no reason to fear the doctor.
Private: Except for his big, sharp needle, and its slow burn of pain that... [Kowalski glares at him] ...that doesn't feel as bad as it feels.



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