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==Scene I: Penguin HQ==
 
==Scene I: Penguin HQ==
'''Skipper''': (''The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy bear. Skipper looks tired, with bloodshot eyes.'') Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit, and we sleep as a unit. (''Yawns'') It's been a rough week in the battle for shut eye.<br>
+
''The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy bear.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''looks tired with bloodshot eyes'') Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit, and we sleep as a unit. (''Yawns'') It's been a rough week in the battle for shut eye.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
''Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again.''<br>
 
''Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again.''<br>
Line 22: Line 24:
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': Uh, nightcap, Skipper?<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': Uh, nightcap, Skipper?<br>
'''Skipper''': Good point. Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny, little baby.<br>
+
'''Skipper''': Good point. (''gets a cup of milk'') Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny, little baby.<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': I mean, that's not your nightcap. ''That'' is.<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': I mean, that's not your nightcap. ''That'' is.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
Line 43: Line 45:
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
'''Private''': Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--<br>
 
'''Private''': Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--<br>
'''Skipper: Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? Have you finally flipped on us?<br>
+
'''Skipper''': Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? Have you finally flipped on us?<br>
'''Private: No, Skipper, never! See, the play's the thing. I was--<br>
+
'''Private''': No, Skipper, never! See, the play's the thing. I was--<br>
'''Skipper: (''smacks Private with the frying pan'') SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! For now hit the bunks! (''throws Private in bed and gets into his bed'')<br>
+
'''Skipper''': (''smacks Private with the frying pan'') SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! For now hit the bunks! (''throws Private in bed and gets into his bed'')<br>
'''Private: (''to Kowalski'') What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.<br>
+
'''Private''': (''to Kowalski'') What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.<br>
'''Kowalski: Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.<br>
+
'''Kowalski''': Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
''A flash-forward reveals Skipper threatening the coffee machine by sticking his face up close to it.''<br>
+
''A flashback reveals Skipper threatening the coffee machine by sticking his face up close to it.''<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
'''Skipper: Give me your dark bean-y secrets!<br>
+
'''Skipper''': Give me your dark bean-y secrets!<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
 
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
 
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
 
<br>
 
<br>
'''Private: (''facing Skipper concernedly'') Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--<br>
+
'''Private''': (''facing Skipper concernedly'') Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--<br>
'''Skipper: BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (''falls asleep'')<br>
+
'''Skipper''': BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (''falls asleep'')<br>
'''Computer Voice: 10:00 PM. Lights out. (''lights turn completely off'') Seriously.<br>
+
'''Computer Voice''': 10:00 PM. Lights out. (''lights turn completely off'') Seriously.<br>
   
 
==Scene IV: Lemur Habitat==
 
==Scene IV: Lemur Habitat==
*King Julien: (Stands on his boombox) Turn up the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's infestivities open for partying!
+
'''King Julien''': (''stands on his boombox'') Ten of the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's Eve festivities open for partying!<br>
  +
'''Mort''': Oooh, let me!<br>
*Mort: OOH, LET ME! (Turns on the music, and the music plays loudly)
 
  +
<br>
  +
''Mort turns on the boombox, and the music plays loudly.''<br>
   
 
==Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)==
 
==Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)==
*Skipper: (The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper & the others out of bed) Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.
+
''The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper and the others out of their bunks.''<br>
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: (Takes out clipboard) Let's see. Monday, asked nicely to turn music down...
 
  +
'''Skipper''': Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.<br>
Monday Night
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''takes out clipboard'') Let's see: Monday, asked nicely to turn music down.<br>
*Skipper: (The Lemurs dance as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background shouting over the music) BE QUIET!!!
 
  +
<br>
*King Julien: (Continually dancing) Hey, this is New York, the city that never sleeps!
 
  +
''A flashback reveals that on Monday night, the Lemurs dance to a Big-Band-themed song, as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background.''<br>
*Skipper: (Shouting over the music) BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''shouting over the music'') '''BE QUIET!!!'''<br>
*Kowalski: Tuesday, gave dirty looks...
 
  +
'''King Julien''': (''continues dancing'') Hey, this is New York! The city that never sleeps!<br>
Tuesday Night
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''still shouting'') '''BECAUSE OF YOU!!!'''<br>
*(The Lemurs dancing while the Penguins stand, throwing dirty looks at the Lemurs, Kowalski nudges Private to give dirty looks after he was dancing to the beat)
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Kowalski: Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...
 
  +
<br>
Wednesday Night
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': Tuesday, gave dirty looks.<br>
*(Kowalski is holding the giant speaker, blasting mating calls at the Lemurs, which are being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox, Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine)
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
''Another flashback reveals that on Tuesday night, the Lemurs dance to a Country-themed song while the Penguins scowl angrily at the Lemurs, except for Private, who is blissfully dancing along with them. Kowalski nudges him to make him regain focus causing Private to scowl at the Lemurs too.''<br>
*Kowalski: No effect, at least, not on lemurs.
 
  +
<br>
*Rico: (Moves up to Kowalski) Ooh, How you doin'?
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Skipper: Recommendations for next move?
 
  +
<br>
*Private: (Reciting Shakespeare) ''To be, or NOT to be, THAT is the question--''
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...<br>
*Skipper: We need action, not waffling! Rico! (Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly) I like the way you think, soldier.
 
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: Perhaps we should try diplomacy. The art of solving disputes by negotiation and/or non-military means. (Private nods in agreement)
 
  +
''Another flashback reveals that on Wednesday night, Kowalski holds up a giant loudspeaker that's blasting penguin mating calls at the Lemurs, which is being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox. Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine.''<br>
*Skipper: Mm-hmm, yeah. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?
 
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work...except when it doesn't. (Frees Private from the torture device)
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Skipper: (Yawns) Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...
 
  +
<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': No effect, at least, not on lemurs.<br>
  +
'''Rico''': (''swooning'') Ooh, How you doin'?<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Recommendations for next move?<br>
  +
'''Private''': (''reciting Shakespeare'') ''To be, or ''NOT'' to be, THAT is the question--<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': We need action, not waffling! Rico!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': I like the way you think, soldier.<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': Perhaps we should try diplomacy? The art of solving disputes by negotiation or other non-military means. (''Private nods in agreement'')<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Mhmm, great. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work... Except when it doesn't. (''frees Private from the torture device'')<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''Yawns'') Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...<br>
   
==Scene VI: Zooviners Shop==
+
==Scene VI: Zoovenirs Shop==
  +
'''Mason''': (''slams a squeaky hammer on table in zoo shop'') At the behest of the penguins, we call these peace treaty talks to order.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Phil elbows Mason and corrects what he said via in sign language.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Mason''': Ah, quite right Phil. That is ' ''Disturbing'' the Peace Treaty '.<br>
  +
'''Julien''': Thank you, Thank you. As king, I will speak first. I shall give to you... Uhh... Mort. And you... shall... you know, go away.<br>
  +
'''Mort''': OOH, I'm a bargaining chip, YAY!<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': We demand a 10:00 curfew!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': No prob--uh, HEY?! 10:00? 10?! Oka-We have not even ''begun'' to rock out by then! Ha-ha, I laugh at that.<br>
  +
'''Private''': Oh, Ruffians! That will swear, dance, r-r-r-rebel the night! Hours filled up with riots, banquets, sports--<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Private! Knock off the old timey yakedy-yak! We're negotiating!<br>
  +
'''Private''': But-but Skipper, it's--<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Time for you to be confined to quarters! On the double!<br>
  +
'''Private''': (''depressed'') Aye, my lord.<br>
   
  +
==Scene VII: The Zoo==
* Mason: (slams squeaky hammer on table in zoo shop) At the behedst of the penguins, we call these peace treaty talks to order. (Phil elbows Mason, communicates in sign language) Oh, yes, quite right, Phil. That is 'Disturbing the Peace Treaty'.
 
  +
'''Private''': And so, from hour-to-hour, we rot-and-rot... (''sees one of the zoo's clocks and gasps'') Oh goody! I can still catch the show!<br>
* King Julien: Thank you, Thank you. As king, I will speak first. I shall give to you...uhh...Mort. And you shall... you know, go away.
 
  +
<br>
* Mort: OOH, I'm a bargaining chip, YAY!
 
  +
''Private eagerly slides back to the Shakespeare play in Central Park.''<br>
* Skipper: We demand a 10:00 curfew!
 
* King Julien: No prob--uh, WHAT? 10:00? 10? Oka- We have not even begun to rock out by then. Ha-ha, I laugh at that.
 
* Private: Oh, ruffians that will swear, dance, r-r-r-rebel the nights. Hours filled up with riots, banquets, sports-
 
* Skipper: PRIVATE, KNOCK OFF THE OLD TIMEDY YAKADY-YAK! We're negotiating!
 
* Private: But Skipper, it's-
 
* Skipper: Time for you to be confined in quarters! On the double!
 
* Private: (Depressed) Aye, my lord.
 
 
== Scene VII: Zoo ==
 
 
* Private: And so, from hour to hour, we rot and rot... (Sees clock, gasps) Oh, goody. I can still catch the show. (Slides back to the Shakespeare play)
 
   
 
== Scene VIII: Penguin HQ ==
 
== Scene VIII: Penguin HQ ==
Skipper, Kowalski and Rico arrive at HQ.
+
''Skipper, Kowalski and Rico return to their HQ.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': And so we return, conquering uh... What's that word for weaklings again?<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': Diplomats.<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': All I know is, I'm finally gonna win the battle for the land of nigh. (''notices Private is gone'') PRIVATE'S GONE AWOL AGAIN!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Time passes and Private returns from the play. He attempts to quietly sneak back without being caught, only for a light to be shined on him as he makes his way down the ladder.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Game over Private! (''Rico regurgitates a bazooka and crossbow and points them at Private'') Who are you working for?!<br>
  +
'''Private''': Though I'm amazed, and know not what to say!<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': That code again. (''shines flashlight into Private's mouth, causing the light to come out of Private's eyes'') Who's your outside contact?!<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''defending Private'') Skipper, Private's no double-agent, he can't even cheat at Go Fish.<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Alright, stand down Rico.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Rico accidentally fires crossbow at Private's 1st Prize Fish hilt making Private scream in shock.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''threateningly'') Know this, Private! I may be operating on short sleep rations, but I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?<br>
  +
'''Private''': Aye, thoroughly. (''Skipper leaves but then comes back up'')<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': And one more thing! I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Skipper backs away defensively while staring at a bewildered Private.''<br>
   
  +
==Scene IX: Zooviners Shop==
* Skipper: And so we return, conquering...uh...what's that word for weaklings again?
 
  +
'''Mason''': (''slams the squeaky hammer again'') Disturbing the Peace Treaty talk Round 2.<br>
* Kowalski: Diplomats.
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''pulls out the Treaty, which is on a roll of toilet paper'') We've reviewed the treaty. It's one-sided, demoralizing, insulting, oh two-ply, and good to go.<br>
* Skipper: All I know is that I'm finally gonna win the battle for the land of 9:00. (notices Private gone) PRIVATE'S GONE AWOL AGAIN!
 
  +
<br>
 
  +
''Kowalski pulls out an Ink Box used for stamping and Skipper prepares to sign the treaty when he is stopped.''<br>
Later, Private returns from the play.
 
  +
<br>
 
  +
'''Julien''': Not so quickly, tuxedo-bird! We wish to add some teensy appendages. (''pulls out his own toilet-paper treaty, which unrolls onto Skipper. Julien hops closer to point out its details'') Note the last item there. You're big-brained penguin will invent for me the solar-powered karaoke.<br>
* Skipper: (shines flashlight on Private making him yell in fear) GAME OVER, PRIVATE! (Rico hacks up a bazooka and a crossbow and points them at Private) Who are you working for?
 
  +
'''Private''': (''to Rico'') Ooh, ooh, and this one time, this guy said 'Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit' (''squeals with delight'') How great is that?<br>
* Private: I'm amazed, and not know what to say!
 
  +
'''Rico''': (''looking uncomfortable'') Hold on a minute. (''coughs up earmuffs and puts them on'') Go ahead, keep talking.<br>
* Skipper: That code again! (shines flashlight into Private's mouth while light comes out of Private's eyes) Who's your outside contact?
 
  +
'''Skipper''': We had a deal!<br>
* Kowalski: (defending Private) Skipper, Private's no double-agent, he can't even cheat at Go Fish!
 
  +
'''Julien''': And we still do. I have just swapped the parts I don't like with the parts I ''do'' like. Take it or heave it.<br>
* Skipper: Alright, stand down, Rico. (Rico accidentally fires crossbow onto Private's 1st Prize Fish hilt making him scream) Know this, Private! I may be operating on short sleep rations, But I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?
 
  +
'''Skipper''': Leave it!<br>
* Private: Aye, thoroughly. (Skipper leaves but then comes back up)
 
  +
'''Julien''': Leave it? Wait, leave what?<br>
* Skipper: And one more thing! I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood? (leaves)
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''sighs'') I'll sign. (''steps into the ink box'')<br>
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''shocked'') Skipper, you're not thinking clearly!<br>
== Scene IX: Zooviners Shop ==
 
  +
'''Private''': A pox upon you, you muddy rascals! (''laughs'') That was a good one.<br>
 
  +
'''Julien''': Don't try to confuse me with your legal ease!<br>
* Mason: (Hammering squeaky hammer) Disturbing the Peace Treaty talk Round 2.
 
  +
'''Private''': How about... Your just little leather-jerkin', crystal-button, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, Spanish pouches!<br>
* Skipper: We've reviewed the treaty! (Treaty on toilet paper) One-sided, demoralizing, insulting, ooh, two-ply, and good to go. (Skipper prepares to sign treaty)
 
  +
<br>
* King Julien: Not so quickly, tuxedo-bird! We wish to add some teensy appendages. (Takes out toilet-paper treaty, toilet paper roll rolls onto Skipper) Note the last item there. Your'e big-brained penguin will invent for me the solar-powered karaoke.
 
  +
''After Private's rant, the penguins look surprised by his outburst. Phil is covering his mouth, which Mason is covering his ears, both of whom look shocked. The lemurs however just look confused.''<br>
* Private: (to Rico) Ooh, ooh, and this one time, this guy said 'Better off wittiful, than a foolish wit" (Laughs) How great is that?
 
  +
<br>
* Rico: Hold on a minute. (Hacks up earmuffs, and puts them on) Go ahead, keep talking.
 
  +
'''Mort''':... (''hysterical'') IT'S TRUE! (''now confused'') ...I think?<br>
* Skipper: We had a deal!
 
  +
'''Julien''': (''insulted'') I do not know these words. But I know when I am insulted. And I am insulted! I HEAVE IT! (''snatches his treaty away from Skipper'')<br>
* King Julien: And we still do. I have just swapped the parts I don't like with the parts I do like. Take it or heave it.
 
  +
'''Skipper''': WAIT, he didn't mean it! Where's a pen? I need a pen!<br>
* Skipper: Leave it!
 
  +
'''Julien''': (''drops treaty onto Mort'') Too late! Er, good luck snoozing tonight! I am turning the volumes knobby up to "meleven...TEEN"!<br>
* King Julien: Leave it? Wait, leave what?
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''grabs Julien by the collar, looking desperate'') NO! He doesn't speak for us! He's gone AWOL! He's a turncoat! TURNCOAT!!<br>
* Skipper: (sighs) I'll sign.
 
* Kowalski: (stops him) Skipper, you're not thinking clearly.
+
'''Kowalski''': (''grabs Skipper's face'') You're ''really'' not thinking clearly.<br>
  +
<br>
* Private: Apart upon you, you muddy rascals! (laughs) That was a good one.
 
  +
''The scene is briefly seen from Skipper's POV. Kowalski, Private, and Julien look and sound distorted; a side-effect of Skipper's insomnia.''<br>
* King Julien: Do not try to confuse me with your legal ease!
 
  +
<br>
* Private: How about... Your just leather-jerkin, crystal-button, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, Spanish pouches! (all stare at him)
 
  +
'''Private''': (''in a distorted voice'') But Skipper, it was just Shakespeare, in the park.<br>
* Mort:... IT'S TRUE! (whines)... I think!
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''now completely unhinged and paranoid'') Spears! Shaking! In the park! It's worse than I thought! (''imagines ballistic explosions going on around him, having a PTSD episode'') Did you hear that? Artillery! The spear shakers are coming! (''to Kowalski'') Private in lockdown!<br>
* King Julien: I do not know these words. But I know when I am insulted. And I am insulted! I HEAVE IT! (snatches Skipper's treaty)
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': But, Skipper--<br>
* Skipper: WAIT, he didn't mean it! Where's a pan? I need a pan!
 
  +
'''Skipper''': THAT'S AN ORDER, KOWALSKI!!! Eh-eh-eh! (''twitches his eye'')<br>
* King Julien: (drops treaty on Mort) Too late! Er, good luck snoozing tonight! I am turning the volumes knobby up to "meleven...TEEN"!
 
  +
<br>
* Skipper: NO! He doesn't speak for us! He's gone AWOL! He's a tin coat! TIN COAT!!!!
 
  +
''Kowalski is seen pushing a barrel into place. Private is duct-taped to it.''<br>
* Kowalski: You're REALLY not thinking clearly. (Skipper's mind is crazily amplified)
 
  +
<br>
* Private: (In amplified voice) But Skipper, it was the Shakespeare in the park.
 
  +
'''Kowalski''': Uh, you might want to dial back ye old fancy talk. Do you even know what those words mean?<br>
* Skipper: SPEARS, SHAKING, in the park! This is worse than I thought! (fireworks) Did you hear that? Artillery! The Spearshakers are coming! (to Kowalski) Private lockdown!
 
  +
'''Private''': Uh... Nay?<br>
* Kowalski: But, Skipper-
 
* Skipper: THAT'S AN ORDER, KOWALSKI!!!!!! Eh-eh-eh! (twitches his eye)
 
   
 
==Scene X: Central Park==
 
==Scene X: Central Park==
  +
'''Actor''': The blast of war blows it our ears!<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''observing from a distance'') Do you hear that voice? It's war-talk! Just look at the size of that enemy encampment. There must be nearly 1892 of 'em!<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''looking through some binoculars'') Looks to me like an innocent theatrical presentation. (''Skipper looks through the binoculars too'')<br>
  +
'''Actor''': What have Kings that Privates have not too?<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': You call that innocent? It's in code-ian. Something about making Private a king!<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''skeptical'') You really think--<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''throws the binoculars at Kowalski'') THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! IT'S A FULL-ON COUP!! Initiate Operation: Break-Speare! Phase one: locate enemy munitions.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico are seen sneaking off to an unseen part of the park. Skipper briefly falls asleep, which makes Kowalski and Rico attempt to back away, only for Skipper to regain consciousness and resume sneaking away. the three penguins then peels back at clothed door to find a plethora of medieval weapons, including swords, flails, axes, and shields, with an empty suit of armor in the middle. Rico cackles mischievously.''<br>
   
==Scene XI: Zooviners==
+
==Scene XI: Zoovenirs Shop==
  +
''Private is still seen taped to the barrel while Maurice is trying to pull Mort out from the roll of toilet paper that Julien stuffed him into, while Julien looks bored.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Private''': (''pleading'') Please! We've got to help Skipper. He's got acute sleep deprivation.<br>
  +
'''Julien''': (''plugging his ears'') La-la-la-la-la I'm not hearing why you think he's cute, traitor you.<br>
  +
'''Private''': I'm not a traitor! I was just quoting Shakespeare. That last one is from King Henry V!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': (''confronts Private, looking angry'') What? Who is claiming to be a king, named Henry?! That is a very stupid name for a king! You will lead me to this stupid Henry immediately, so as to ridicule his name, and physical appearance.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Julien forcefully tears off the duct-tape, which makes Private shriek in pain.''<br>
   
 
==Scene XII: Central Park==
 
==Scene XII: Central Park==
  +
''Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico are now hidden inside of the suit of armor, with Rico at the chest, and Skipper at the head.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': Prepare for combat.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Rico regurgitates a sword and the armored penguins begin stomping towards the stage.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Actor''': I love thee, Kate. I kiss your hand and I call you my queen.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''The actor sees the suit of armor heading towards him and the Actress.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Actor''': Wait, what play are we doing?<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''The penguins try to bring their sword down on the pair, but the actor grabs his sword and counter his attack. As the actor and the penguins start dueling, the actress screams in horror and runs off-stage, leaving her wig behind in the process. Private and the lemurs arrive just in time to see the sword fight on stage.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Julien''': (''excited'') Oh-hoho, look! That guy is hitting that other guy, with sharp pointy metal!<br>
  +
'''Actor''': (''annoyed'') I took stage combat at Gail drama!<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': (''pops out from the armor's helmet'') Should've gone to ''knight'' school. (''chuckles at his own joke'')<br>
  +
'''Private''': It's the guys!<br>
  +
'''Maurice''': If I know anything about sword fights, they're losing. Big time! Come on!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''The actor begins to get the upper-hand over the penguins by whacking their armor a few times, causing it to vibrate. As Private and the lemurs come to their rescue, the audience notices them and panics, fleeing the presentation.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Girl''': There's animals everywhere!<br>
  +
'''Man''': They're black and white!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''As the audience flees, the penguins continue fighting. Skipper, now at the waist, blacks out and falls asleep, causing the top half of the armor to droop down.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': Skipper!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Skipper reawakens and resumes fighting. Private and the lemurs make it on stage, next to a cannon.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Julien''': I will interrupt that silly king!<br>
  +
'''Private''': Perhaps a diversion? (''referring to the cannon'')<br>
  +
'''Maurice''': No cannonballs!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Private, Julien, and Maurice then notice Mort putting on the actress's wig, looking innocent. The cannon is activate and Mort, as the cannonball is fired out from it. He is screaming as he is launched at the actor, who just barely misses him after knocking the penguins into some barrels.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Actor''': What play is this?!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': (''hops into the actor's face'') Okay, I have two big problematic problems with you, you pretend-y king!<br>
  +
'''Actor''': (''screams and runs off stage, terrified'') Rabid spider monkey!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': What?<br>
  +
'''Private''': Hi guys!<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''furious'') You, Traitor!<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''Skipper gets up to stab Private with the sword, but the armor slips on a few barrels, tossing the sword in the air. The sword falls towards a shocked Private and the screen goes white. Kowalski and Rico then jump out of the armor, as does Skipper, who pushes Rico and Kowalski aside. He gasps and falls to his knees after seeing that Private has been stabbed by the sword through his chest.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': (''distraught'') What have I done? What have I DONE?! (''falls asleep, but wakes up again, sounding hysterical'') WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': (''whispers to Maurice'') He definitely needs a nap.<br>
  +
'''Skipper:''': Forgive me, Private.<br>
  +
'''Private:''': (''wakes up'') I'll forgive you, Skipper. It's not your fault you can't sleep.<br>
  +
'''Skipper:''': (''happily'') Private! (''confused'') You should be with Manfredi and Johnson. You know: One up there, one down there?<br>
  +
'''Private:''': No, it's make-believe. See? (''reveals that the sword is fake by moving its blade up and down'') Harmless.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''The lemurs and the penguins cheer that Private is alright, but are interrupted by Mort wandering back on stage, looking burnt and covered in black smoke.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Mort:''': No, it isn't! (''falls down'')<br>
   
  +
==Scene XIII: Central Park, next night==
 
  +
''The next day, the play has returned to normal. The penguins and the lemurs, along with Mason and Phil, are now all seen watching the performance from a distance, eating popcorn and looking very entertained.''<br>
 
  +
<br>
  +
'''Actor''': You fat-witted, clay-brained guts. You naughty, hated fool!<br>
  +
'''Julien''': Hahahaha! I love this theater thing! I am adding season tickets to our list of demands.<br>
  +
'''Private''': I don't think we need a treaty anymore. Skipper's finally found a place he can get some sleep.<br>
  +
<br>
  +
''As Private stays this, Skipper is seen snoring loudly off to the side, finally getting the sleep he needed.''
   
 
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Latest revision as of 00:54, 29 May 2023

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OperationBreakSpeare-Title

Scene I: Penguin HQ

The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy bear.

Skipper: (looks tired with bloodshot eyes) Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit, and we sleep as a unit. (Yawns) It's been a rough week in the battle for shut eye.

Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again.

Kowalski: (Sighs) The lemur auditory assault has been merciless! (Rico squeezes his teddy bear and mutters menacingly in agreement)
Skipper: But tonight, it's dose or die. Arm yourselves for lights out.

Rico regurgitates a night cap and hops up into his bunk. Kowalski jumps into his bunk, sets an alarm clock and tosses it away. Skipper jumps into his bunk and slams a frying pan on his head, to Kowalski's bewilderment.

Kowalski: Uh, nightcap, Skipper?
Skipper: Good point. (gets a cup of milk) Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny, little baby.
Kowalski: I mean, that's not your nightcap. That is.

Skipper's nightcap is seen burning on the stove top, and Skipper saves it, blowing the smoke off of it.

Skipper: Okay. Maybe I'm not 100% sleep-shape, shipwise. (Puts the nightcap on and briefly falls asleep, and pushes a button, turning off the lights.)
Computer Voice: Commencing Lights Out Protocol. (The penguins' HQ's windows close themselves.)
Skipper: (notices an empty bunk and panics) Whoa-whoa-whoa! Where's the Private?

Scene II: Central Park

Actress: (Acting in a Shakespeare play with Private watches) For my kind offer, when I make courtesy, bid me farewell. (Bows, and the audience applauds)
Private: Oh, bravo, bravo!

Central Park Zoo bell is heard, and Private gasps in shock.

Private: Lights out! (Private frantically heads back for the zoo).

Scene III: Penguin HQ

Private slides back into his habitat just in time as the food bowl locks up, land on Skipper in the process.

Private: Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--
Skipper: Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? Have you finally flipped on us?
Private: No, Skipper, never! See, the play's the thing. I was--
Skipper: (smacks Private with the frying pan) SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! For now hit the bunks! (throws Private in bed and gets into his bed)
Private: (to Kowalski) What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.
Kowalski: Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.

A flashback reveals Skipper threatening the coffee machine by sticking his face up close to it.

Skipper: Give me your dark bean-y secrets!

Cut back to the present.

Private: (facing Skipper concernedly) Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--
Skipper: BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (falls asleep)
Computer Voice: 10:00 PM. Lights out. (lights turn completely off) Seriously.

Scene IV: Lemur Habitat

King Julien: (stands on his boombox) Ten of the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's Eve festivities open for partying!
Mort: Oooh, let me!

Mort turns on the boombox, and the music plays loudly.

Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)

The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper and the others out of their bunks.

Skipper: Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.
Kowalski: (takes out clipboard) Let's see: Monday, asked nicely to turn music down.

A flashback reveals that on Monday night, the Lemurs dance to a Big-Band-themed song, as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background.

Skipper: (shouting over the music) BE QUIET!!!
King Julien: (continues dancing) Hey, this is New York! The city that never sleeps!
Skipper: (still shouting) BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: Tuesday, gave dirty looks.

Another flashback reveals that on Tuesday night, the Lemurs dance to a Country-themed song while the Penguins scowl angrily at the Lemurs, except for Private, who is blissfully dancing along with them. Kowalski nudges him to make him regain focus causing Private to scowl at the Lemurs too.

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...

Another flashback reveals that on Wednesday night, Kowalski holds up a giant loudspeaker that's blasting penguin mating calls at the Lemurs, which is being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox. Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine.

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: No effect, at least, not on lemurs.
Rico: (swooning) Ooh, How you doin'?
Skipper: Recommendations for next move?
Private: (reciting Shakespeare) To be, or NOT to be, THAT is the question--
Skipper: We need action, not waffling! Rico!

Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly.

Skipper: I like the way you think, soldier.
Kowalski: Perhaps we should try diplomacy? The art of solving disputes by negotiation or other non-military means. (Private nods in agreement)
Skipper: Mhmm, great. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?
Kowalski: I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work... Except when it doesn't. (frees Private from the torture device)
Skipper: (Yawns) Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...

Scene VI: Zoovenirs Shop

Mason: (slams a squeaky hammer on table in zoo shop) At the behest of the penguins, we call these peace treaty talks to order.

Phil elbows Mason and corrects what he said via in sign language.

Mason: Ah, quite right Phil. That is ' Disturbing the Peace Treaty '.
Julien: Thank you, Thank you. As king, I will speak first. I shall give to you... Uhh... Mort. And you... shall... you know, go away.
Mort: OOH, I'm a bargaining chip, YAY!
Skipper: We demand a 10:00 curfew!
Julien: No prob--uh, HEY?! 10:00? 10?! Oka-We have not even begun to rock out by then! Ha-ha, I laugh at that.
Private: Oh, Ruffians! That will swear, dance, r-r-r-rebel the night! Hours filled up with riots, banquets, sports--
Skipper: Private! Knock off the old timey yakedy-yak! We're negotiating!
Private: But-but Skipper, it's--
Skipper: Time for you to be confined to quarters! On the double!
Private: (depressed) Aye, my lord.

Scene VII: The Zoo

Private: And so, from hour-to-hour, we rot-and-rot... (sees one of the zoo's clocks and gasps) Oh goody! I can still catch the show!

Private eagerly slides back to the Shakespeare play in Central Park.

Scene VIII: Penguin HQ

Skipper, Kowalski and Rico return to their HQ.

Skipper: And so we return, conquering uh... What's that word for weaklings again?
Kowalski: Diplomats.
Skipper: All I know is, I'm finally gonna win the battle for the land of nigh. (notices Private is gone) PRIVATE'S GONE AWOL AGAIN!

Time passes and Private returns from the play. He attempts to quietly sneak back without being caught, only for a light to be shined on him as he makes his way down the ladder.

Skipper: Game over Private! (Rico regurgitates a bazooka and crossbow and points them at Private) Who are you working for?!
Private: Though I'm amazed, and know not what to say!
Skipper: That code again. (shines flashlight into Private's mouth, causing the light to come out of Private's eyes) Who's your outside contact?!
Kowalski: (defending Private) Skipper, Private's no double-agent, he can't even cheat at Go Fish.
Skipper: Alright, stand down Rico.

Rico accidentally fires crossbow at Private's 1st Prize Fish hilt making Private scream in shock.

Skipper: (threateningly) Know this, Private! I may be operating on short sleep rations, but I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?
Private: Aye, thoroughly. (Skipper leaves but then comes back up)
Skipper: And one more thing! I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?

Skipper backs away defensively while staring at a bewildered Private.

Scene IX: Zooviners Shop

Mason: (slams the squeaky hammer again) Disturbing the Peace Treaty talk Round 2.
Skipper: (pulls out the Treaty, which is on a roll of toilet paper) We've reviewed the treaty. It's one-sided, demoralizing, insulting, oh two-ply, and good to go.

Kowalski pulls out an Ink Box used for stamping and Skipper prepares to sign the treaty when he is stopped.

Julien: Not so quickly, tuxedo-bird! We wish to add some teensy appendages. (pulls out his own toilet-paper treaty, which unrolls onto Skipper. Julien hops closer to point out its details) Note the last item there. You're big-brained penguin will invent for me the solar-powered karaoke.
Private: (to Rico) Ooh, ooh, and this one time, this guy said 'Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit' (squeals with delight) How great is that?
Rico: (looking uncomfortable) Hold on a minute. (coughs up earmuffs and puts them on) Go ahead, keep talking.
Skipper: We had a deal!
Julien: And we still do. I have just swapped the parts I don't like with the parts I do like. Take it or heave it.
Skipper: Leave it!
Julien: Leave it? Wait, leave what?
Skipper: (sighs) I'll sign. (steps into the ink box)
Kowalski: (shocked) Skipper, you're not thinking clearly!
Private: A pox upon you, you muddy rascals! (laughs) That was a good one.
Julien: Don't try to confuse me with your legal ease!
Private: How about... Your just little leather-jerkin', crystal-button, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, Spanish pouches!

After Private's rant, the penguins look surprised by his outburst. Phil is covering his mouth, which Mason is covering his ears, both of whom look shocked. The lemurs however just look confused.

Mort:... (hysterical) IT'S TRUE! (now confused) ...I think?
Julien: (insulted) I do not know these words. But I know when I am insulted. And I am insulted! I HEAVE IT! (snatches his treaty away from Skipper)
Skipper: WAIT, he didn't mean it! Where's a pen? I need a pen!
Julien: (drops treaty onto Mort) Too late! Er, good luck snoozing tonight! I am turning the volumes knobby up to "meleven...TEEN"!
Skipper: (grabs Julien by the collar, looking desperate) NO! He doesn't speak for us! He's gone AWOL! He's a turncoat! TURNCOAT!!
Kowalski: (grabs Skipper's face) You're really not thinking clearly.

The scene is briefly seen from Skipper's POV. Kowalski, Private, and Julien look and sound distorted; a side-effect of Skipper's insomnia.

Private: (in a distorted voice) But Skipper, it was just Shakespeare, in the park.
Skipper: (now completely unhinged and paranoid) Spears! Shaking! In the park! It's worse than I thought! (imagines ballistic explosions going on around him, having a PTSD episode) Did you hear that? Artillery! The spear shakers are coming! (to Kowalski) Private in lockdown!
Kowalski: But, Skipper--
Skipper: THAT'S AN ORDER, KOWALSKI!!! Eh-eh-eh! (twitches his eye)

Kowalski is seen pushing a barrel into place. Private is duct-taped to it.

Kowalski: Uh, you might want to dial back ye old fancy talk. Do you even know what those words mean?
Private: Uh... Nay?

Scene X: Central Park

Actor: The blast of war blows it our ears!
Skipper: (observing from a distance) Do you hear that voice? It's war-talk! Just look at the size of that enemy encampment. There must be nearly 1892 of 'em!
Kowalski: (looking through some binoculars) Looks to me like an innocent theatrical presentation. (Skipper looks through the binoculars too)
Actor: What have Kings that Privates have not too?
Skipper: You call that innocent? It's in code-ian. Something about making Private a king!
Kowalski: (skeptical) You really think--
Skipper: (throws the binoculars at Kowalski) THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! IT'S A FULL-ON COUP!! Initiate Operation: Break-Speare! Phase one: locate enemy munitions.

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico are seen sneaking off to an unseen part of the park. Skipper briefly falls asleep, which makes Kowalski and Rico attempt to back away, only for Skipper to regain consciousness and resume sneaking away. the three penguins then peels back at clothed door to find a plethora of medieval weapons, including swords, flails, axes, and shields, with an empty suit of armor in the middle. Rico cackles mischievously.

Scene XI: Zoovenirs Shop

Private is still seen taped to the barrel while Maurice is trying to pull Mort out from the roll of toilet paper that Julien stuffed him into, while Julien looks bored.

Private: (pleading) Please! We've got to help Skipper. He's got acute sleep deprivation.
Julien: (plugging his ears) La-la-la-la-la I'm not hearing why you think he's cute, traitor you.
Private: I'm not a traitor! I was just quoting Shakespeare. That last one is from King Henry V!
Julien: (confronts Private, looking angry) What? Who is claiming to be a king, named Henry?! That is a very stupid name for a king! You will lead me to this stupid Henry immediately, so as to ridicule his name, and physical appearance.

Julien forcefully tears off the duct-tape, which makes Private shriek in pain.

Scene XII: Central Park

Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico are now hidden inside of the suit of armor, with Rico at the chest, and Skipper at the head.

Skipper: Prepare for combat.

Rico regurgitates a sword and the armored penguins begin stomping towards the stage.

Actor: I love thee, Kate. I kiss your hand and I call you my queen.

The actor sees the suit of armor heading towards him and the Actress.

Actor: Wait, what play are we doing?

The penguins try to bring their sword down on the pair, but the actor grabs his sword and counter his attack. As the actor and the penguins start dueling, the actress screams in horror and runs off-stage, leaving her wig behind in the process. Private and the lemurs arrive just in time to see the sword fight on stage.

Julien: (excited) Oh-hoho, look! That guy is hitting that other guy, with sharp pointy metal!
Actor: (annoyed) I took stage combat at Gail drama!
Kowalski: (pops out from the armor's helmet) Should've gone to knight school. (chuckles at his own joke)
Private: It's the guys!
Maurice: If I know anything about sword fights, they're losing. Big time! Come on!

The actor begins to get the upper-hand over the penguins by whacking their armor a few times, causing it to vibrate. As Private and the lemurs come to their rescue, the audience notices them and panics, fleeing the presentation.

Girl: There's animals everywhere!
Man: They're black and white!

As the audience flees, the penguins continue fighting. Skipper, now at the waist, blacks out and falls asleep, causing the top half of the armor to droop down.

Kowalski: Skipper!

Skipper reawakens and resumes fighting. Private and the lemurs make it on stage, next to a cannon.

Julien: I will interrupt that silly king!
Private: Perhaps a diversion? (referring to the cannon)
Maurice: No cannonballs!

Private, Julien, and Maurice then notice Mort putting on the actress's wig, looking innocent. The cannon is activate and Mort, as the cannonball is fired out from it. He is screaming as he is launched at the actor, who just barely misses him after knocking the penguins into some barrels.

Actor: What play is this?!
Julien: (hops into the actor's face) Okay, I have two big problematic problems with you, you pretend-y king!
Actor: (screams and runs off stage, terrified) Rabid spider monkey!
Julien: What?
Private: Hi guys!
Skipper: (furious) You, Traitor!

Skipper gets up to stab Private with the sword, but the armor slips on a few barrels, tossing the sword in the air. The sword falls towards a shocked Private and the screen goes white. Kowalski and Rico then jump out of the armor, as does Skipper, who pushes Rico and Kowalski aside. He gasps and falls to his knees after seeing that Private has been stabbed by the sword through his chest.

Skipper: (distraught) What have I done? What have I DONE?! (falls asleep, but wakes up again, sounding hysterical) WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!
Julien: (whispers to Maurice) He definitely needs a nap.
Skipper:: Forgive me, Private.
Private:: (wakes up) I'll forgive you, Skipper. It's not your fault you can't sleep.
Skipper:: (happily) Private! (confused) You should be with Manfredi and Johnson. You know: One up there, one down there?
Private:: No, it's make-believe. See? (reveals that the sword is fake by moving its blade up and down) Harmless.

The lemurs and the penguins cheer that Private is alright, but are interrupted by Mort wandering back on stage, looking burnt and covered in black smoke.

Mort:: No, it isn't! (falls down)

Scene XIII: Central Park, next night

The next day, the play has returned to normal. The penguins and the lemurs, along with Mason and Phil, are now all seen watching the performance from a distance, eating popcorn and looking very entertained.

Actor: You fat-witted, clay-brained guts. You naughty, hated fool!
Julien: Hahahaha! I love this theater thing! I am adding season tickets to our list of demands.
Private: I don't think we need a treaty anymore. Skipper's finally found a place he can get some sleep.

As Private stays this, Skipper is seen snoring loudly off to the side, finally getting the sleep he needed.


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