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==Scene I: Penguin HQ==
 
==Scene I: Penguin HQ==
*Skipper: (The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy. Skipper has tired, bloodshot eyes.) Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit and we sleep as a unit. (Yawns) It's been a rough week. In the battle for shut eye. (Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again)
+
'''Skipper''': (''The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy bear. Skipper looks tired, with bloodshot eyes.'') Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit, and we sleep as a unit. (''Yawns'') It's been a rough week in the battle for shut eye.<br>
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: (Sighs) The lemur auditory assault has been merciless! (Rico squeezes his teddy and mutters menacingly)
 
  +
''Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again.''<br>
*Skipper: But tonight, it's dose or die. Arm yourselves for lights out. (Rico regurgitates a night cap and hops up into his bunk. Kowalski jumps into his bunk, sets an alarm clock and tosses it away. Skipper jumps into his bunk and slams a frying pan on his head, to the puzzlement of the other penguins)
 
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: Uh, nightcap, Skipper?
 
 
'''Kowalski''': (''Sighs'') The lemur auditory assault has been merciless! (''Rico squeezes his teddy bear and mutters menacingly in agreement'')<br>
*Skipper: Good point. Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny little baby.
 
  +
'''Skipper''': But tonight, it's dose or die. Arm yourselves for lights out.<br>
*Kowalski: I mean, that's not your nightcap. ''That'' is. (Skipper's nightcap is seen burning on the stove top, and Skipper saves it, blowing the smoke off of it)
 
  +
<br>
*Skipper: Okay. Maybe I'm not 100% sleep-shape, shipwise. (Puts the nightcap on and briefly falls asleep, and pushes a button, turning off the lights)
 
 
''Rico regurgitates a night cap and hops up into his bunk. Kowalski jumps into his bunk, sets an alarm clock and tosses it away. Skipper jumps into his bunk and slams a frying pan on his head, to Kowalski's bewilderment.''<br>
*Intercom Voice: Commencing Lights Out Protocol. (Skipper soon sees an empty bunk)
 
  +
<br>
*Skipper: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Where's the Private?
 
 
'''Kowalski''': Uh, nightcap, Skipper?<br>
 
'''Skipper''': Good point. Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny, little baby.<br>
  +
'''Kowalski''': I mean, that's not your nightcap. ''That'' is.<br>
  +
<br>
 
''Skipper's nightcap is seen burning on the stove top, and Skipper saves it, blowing the smoke off of it.''<br>
  +
<br>
 
'''Skipper''': Okay. Maybe I'm not 100% sleep-shape, shipwise. (''Puts the nightcap on and briefly falls asleep, and pushes a button, turning off the lights.'')<br>
 
'''Computer Voice''': Commencing Lights Out Protocol. (''The penguins' HQ's windows close themselves.'')<br>
 
'''Skipper''': (''notices an empty bunk and panics'') Whoa-whoa-whoa! Where's the Private?<br>
  +
 
==Scene II: Central Park==
 
==Scene II: Central Park==
*Performer Woman: (Acting in Shakespeare play with Private watching) For my kind offer, when I make courtesy, bid me farewell. (Bows, and the audience applauds)
+
'''Actress''': (''Acting in a Shakespeare play with Private watches'') For my kind offer, when I make courtesy, bid me farewell. (''Bows, and the audience applauds'')<br>
  +
'''Private''': Oh, bravo, bravo!<br>
*Private: Oh, bravo, bravo! (Central Park Zoo bell is heard, and Private gasps) Lights out! (Private heads back for the zoo)
 
  +
<br>
  +
''Central Park Zoo bell is heard, and Private gasps in shock.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Private''': Lights out! (''Private frantically heads back for the zoo'').<br>
  +
 
==Scene III: Penguin HQ==
 
==Scene III: Penguin HQ==
*Private: (slides back into his habitat, and makes it inside before the food bowl locks it up, and Private lands on Skipper) Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--
+
''Private slides back into his habitat just in time as the food bowl locks up, land on Skipper in the process.''<br>
  +
<br>
*Skipper: Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? They finally flipped on us?
 
*Private: No, Skipper, never. See, the play's the thing. I was--(Skipper smacks him with the frying pan)
+
'''Private''': Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--<br>
*Skipper: SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! Now hit the buns! (throws Private in bed and gets into his bed)
+
'''Skipper''': Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? Have you finally flipped on us?<br>
  +
'''Private''': No, Skipper, never! See, the play's the thing. I was--<br>
*Private: (to Kowalski) What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''smacks Private with the frying pan'') SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! For now hit the bunks! (''throws Private in bed and gets into his bed'')<br>
*Kowalski: Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.
 
 
'''Private''': (''to Kowalski'') What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.<br>
Earlier
 
 
'''Kowalski''': Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.<br>
*Skipper: (To the coffee machine) Give me your dark beany secrets!
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
''A flashback reveals Skipper threatening the coffee machine by sticking his face up close to it.''<br>
*Private: (Facing Skipper) Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--
 
  +
<br>
*Skipper: BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (falls asleep)
 
 
'''Skipper''': Give me your dark bean-y secrets!<br>
*Intercom Voice: 10:00 PM. Lights out. (lights turn completely off) Seriously.
 
  +
<br>
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
  +
<br>
 
'''Private''': (''facing Skipper concernedly'') Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--<br>
 
'''Skipper''': BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (''falls asleep'')<br>
 
'''Computer Voice''': 10:00 PM. Lights out. (''lights turn completely off'') Seriously.<br>
  +
 
==Scene IV: Lemur Habitat==
 
==Scene IV: Lemur Habitat==
*King Julien: (Stands on his boombox) Turn up the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's infestivities open for partying!
+
'''King Julien''': (''stands on his boombox'') Ten of the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's Eve festivities open for partying!<br>
  +
'''Mort''': Oooh, let me!<br>
*Mort: OOH, LET ME! (Turns on the music, and the music plays loudly)
 
  +
<br>
 
''Mort turns on the boombox, and the music plays loudly.''<br>
   
 
==Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)==
 
==Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)==
*Skipper: (The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper & the others out of bed) Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.
+
''The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper and the others out of their bunks.''<br>
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: (Takes out clipboard) Let's see. Monday, asked nicely to turn music down...
 
  +
'''Skipper''': Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.<br>
Monday Night
 
 
'''Kowalski''': (''takes out clipboard'') Let's see: Monday, asked nicely to turn music down.<br>
*Skipper: (The Lemurs dance as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background shouting over the music) BE QUIET!!!
 
  +
<br>
*King Julien: (Continually dancing) Hey, this is New York, the city that never sleeps!
 
 
''A flashback reveals that on Monday Night, the Lemurs dance to a Big-Band-themed song, as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background.''<br>
*Skipper: (Shouting over the music) BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
 
'''Skipper''': (''shouting over the music'') '''BE QUIET!!!'''<br>
*Kowalski: Tuesday, gave dirty looks...
 
 
'''King Julien''': (''continues dancing'') Hey, this is New York! The city that never sleeps!<br>
Tuesday Night
 
  +
'''Skipper''': (''still shouting'') '''BECAUSE OF YOU!!!'''<br>
*(The Lemurs dancing while the Penguins stand, throwing dirty looks at the Lemurs, Kowalski nudges Private to give dirty looks after he was dancing to the beat)
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Kowalski: Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...
 
  +
<br>
Wednesday Night
 
 
'''Kowalski''': Tuesday, gave dirty looks.<br>
*(Kowalski is holding the giant speaker, blasting mating calls at the Lemurs, which are being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox, Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine)
 
  +
<br>
Present
 
  +
''Another flashback reveals that on Tuesday Night, the Lemurs dance to a Country-themed song while the Penguins scowl angrily at the Lemurs, except for Private, who is blissfully dancing along with them. Kowalski nudges him to make him regain focus causing Private to scowl at the Lemurs too.''<br>
*Kowalski: No effect, at least, not on lemurs.
 
  +
<br>
*Rico: (Moves up to Kowalski) Ooh, How you doin'?
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Skipper: Recommendations for next move?
 
  +
<br>
*Private: (Reciting Shakespeare) ''To be, or NOT to be, THAT is the question--''
 
 
'''Kowalski''': Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...<br>
*Skipper: We need action, not waffling! Rico! (Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly) I like the way you think, soldier.
 
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: Perhaps we should try diplomacy. The art of solving disputes by negotiation and/or non-military means. (Private nods in agreement)
 
 
''Another flashback reveals that on Wednesday Night, Kowalski holds up a giant loudspeaker that's blasting penguin mating calls at the Lemurs, which is being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox. Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine.''<br>
*Skipper: Mm-hmm, yeah. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?
 
  +
<br>
*Kowalski: I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work...except when it doesn't. (Frees Private from the torture device)
 
  +
''Cut back to the present.''<br>
*Skipper: (Yawns) Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...
 
  +
<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': No effect, at least, not on lemurs.<br>
 
'''Rico''': (''swooning'') Ooh, How you doin'?<br>
 
'''Skipper''': Recommendations for next move?<br>
 
'''Private''': (''reciting Shakespeare'') ''To be, or ''NOT'' to be, THAT is the question--<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': We need action, not waffling! Rico!<br>
  +
<br>
 
''Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly.''<br>
  +
<br>
  +
'''Skipper''': I like the way you think, soldier.<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': Perhaps we should try diplomacy? The art of solving disputes by negotiation or other non-military means. (''Private nods in agreement'')<br>
 
'''Skipper''': Mhmm, great. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?<br>
 
'''Kowalski''': I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work... Except when it doesn't. (''frees Private from the torture device'')<br>
 
'''Skipper''': (''Yawns'') Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...<br>
   
 
==Scene VI: Zooviners Shop==
 
==Scene VI: Zooviners Shop==

Revision as of 22:13, 22 July 2021

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OperationBreakSpeare-Title

Scene I: Penguin HQ

Skipper: (The penguins are lined up in the HQ. Kowalski is wearing a nightcap and Rico is holding a teddy bear. Skipper looks tired, with bloodshot eyes.) Men, we live as a unit, we fight as a unit, and we sleep as a unit. (Yawns) It's been a rough week in the battle for shut eye.

Kowalski and Rico fall asleep and bump into each other, startling them awake again.

Kowalski: (Sighs) The lemur auditory assault has been merciless! (Rico squeezes his teddy bear and mutters menacingly in agreement)
Skipper: But tonight, it's dose or die. Arm yourselves for lights out.

Rico regurgitates a night cap and hops up into his bunk. Kowalski jumps into his bunk, sets an alarm clock and tosses it away. Skipper jumps into his bunk and slams a frying pan on his head, to Kowalski's bewilderment.

Kowalski: Uh, nightcap, Skipper?
Skipper: Good point. Warm milk puts me out like a teeny, tiny, little baby.
Kowalski: I mean, that's not your nightcap. That is.

Skipper's nightcap is seen burning on the stove top, and Skipper saves it, blowing the smoke off of it.

Skipper: Okay. Maybe I'm not 100% sleep-shape, shipwise. (Puts the nightcap on and briefly falls asleep, and pushes a button, turning off the lights.)
Computer Voice: Commencing Lights Out Protocol. (The penguins' HQ's windows close themselves.)
Skipper: (notices an empty bunk and panics) Whoa-whoa-whoa! Where's the Private?

Scene II: Central Park

Actress: (Acting in a Shakespeare play with Private watches) For my kind offer, when I make courtesy, bid me farewell. (Bows, and the audience applauds)
Private: Oh, bravo, bravo!

Central Park Zoo bell is heard, and Private gasps in shock.

Private: Lights out! (Private frantically heads back for the zoo).

Scene III: Penguin HQ

Private slides back into his habitat just in time as the food bowl locks up, land on Skipper in the process.

Private: Reporting, Skipper. Sorry, I was--
Skipper: Fraternizing with the enemy! Is that it, Private? Have you finally flipped on us?
Private: No, Skipper, never! See, the play's the thing. I was--
Skipper: (smacks Private with the frying pan) SAVE IT! I'll ring the answers out of you in the AM! For now hit the bunks! (throws Private in bed and gets into his bed)
Private: (to Kowalski) What's up with Skipper? He seems a bit crabby and paranoid... I mean, you know...more than usual.
Kowalski: Lemur Party-Induced Chronic Insomnia! Commonly known as 'LPICI'. At least by me. Earlier tonight, he spent an hour interrogating the coffee machine.

A flashback reveals Skipper threatening the coffee machine by sticking his face up close to it.

Skipper: Give me your dark bean-y secrets!

Cut back to the present.

Private: (facing Skipper concernedly) Oh, Skipper. Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels--
Skipper: BUTTON IT, PRIVATE!!! (falls asleep)
Computer Voice: 10:00 PM. Lights out. (lights turn completely off) Seriously.

Scene IV: Lemur Habitat

King Julien: (stands on his boombox) Ten of the clocks! I declare Lemur-morial Day's Eve festivities open for partying!
Mort: Oooh, let me!

Mort turns on the boombox, and the music plays loudly.

Scene V: Penguin HQ/Lemur Habitat (flashbacks)

The volume of the Lemurs' music is so loud, it knocks Skipper and the others out of their bunks.

Skipper: Sweet and sour meatballs! Don't those lemurs ever sleep? Kowalski, review recent boombox countermeasures.
Kowalski: (takes out clipboard) Let's see: Monday, asked nicely to turn music down.

A flashback reveals that on Monday Night, the Lemurs dance to a Big-Band-themed song, as Skipper suddenly appearing from behind the wall in the background.

Skipper: (shouting over the music) BE QUIET!!!
King Julien: (continues dancing) Hey, this is New York! The city that never sleeps!
Skipper: (still shouting) BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: Tuesday, gave dirty looks.

Another flashback reveals that on Tuesday Night, the Lemurs dance to a Country-themed song while the Penguins scowl angrily at the Lemurs, except for Private, who is blissfully dancing along with them. Kowalski nudges him to make him regain focus causing Private to scowl at the Lemurs too.

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: Wednesday, blasted penguin mating calls, full volume...

Another flashback reveals that on Wednesday Night, Kowalski holds up a giant loudspeaker that's blasting penguin mating calls at the Lemurs, which is being partially drowned out by the Lemurs' boombox. Maurice seems a bit uncomfortable hearing the mating calls while the other lemurs are perfectly fine.

Cut back to the present.

Kowalski: No effect, at least, not on lemurs.
Rico: (swooning) Ooh, How you doin'?
Skipper: Recommendations for next move?
Private: (reciting Shakespeare) To be, or NOT to be, THAT is the question--
Skipper: We need action, not waffling! Rico!

Rico straps Private to a medieval torture device, and groans wildly.

Skipper: I like the way you think, soldier.
Kowalski: Perhaps we should try diplomacy? The art of solving disputes by negotiation or other non-military means. (Private nods in agreement)
Skipper: Mhmm, great. Why don't we just have a quilting bee while we're at it?
Kowalski: I know it goes against every bone in your thermal-regulated body, Skipper, but the diplomatic approach has been known to work... Except when it doesn't. (frees Private from the torture device)
Skipper: (Yawns) Alright. Anything to get a few dozen winks...

Scene VI: Zooviners Shop

  • Mason: (slams squeaky hammer on table in zoo shop) At the behedst of the penguins, we call these peace treaty talks to order. (Phil elbows Mason, communicates in sign language) Oh, yes, quite right, Phil. That is 'Disturbing the Peace Treaty'.
  • King Julien: Thank you, Thank you. As king, I will speak first. I shall give to you...uhh...Mort. And you shall... you know, go away.
  • Mort: OOH, I'm a bargaining chip, YAY!
  • Skipper: We demand a 10:00 curfew!
  • King Julien: No prob--uh, WHAT? 10:00? 10? Oka- We have not even begun to rock out by then. Ha-ha, I laugh at that.
  • Private: Oh, ruffians that will swear, dance, r-r-r-rebel the nights. Hours filled up with riots, banquets, sports-
  • Skipper: PRIVATE, KNOCK OFF THE OLD TIMEDY YAKADY-YAK! We're negotiating!
  • Private: But Skipper, it's-
  • Skipper: Time for you to be confined in quarters! On the double!
  • Private: (Depressed) Aye, my lord.

Scene VII: Zoo

  • Private: And so, from hour to hour, we rot and rot... (Sees clock, gasps) Oh, goody. I can still catch the show. (Slides back to the Shakespeare play)

Scene VIII: Penguin HQ

Skipper, Kowalski and Rico arrive at HQ.

  • Skipper: And so we return, conquering...uh...what's that word for weaklings again?
  • Kowalski: Diplomats.
  • Skipper: All I know is that I'm finally gonna win the battle for the land of 9:00. (notices Private gone) PRIVATE'S GONE AWOL AGAIN!

Later, Private returns from the play.

  • Skipper: (shines flashlight on Private making him yell in fear) GAME OVER, PRIVATE! (Rico hacks up a bazooka and a crossbow and points them at Private) Who are you working for?
  • Private: I'm amazed, and not know what to say!
  • Skipper: That code again! (shines flashlight into Private's mouth while light comes out of Private's eyes) Who's your outside contact?
  • Kowalski: (defending Private) Skipper, Private's no double-agent, he can't even cheat at Go Fish!
  • Skipper: Alright, stand down, Rico. (Rico accidentally fires crossbow onto Private's 1st Prize Fish hilt making him scream) Know this, Private! I may be operating on short sleep rations, But I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood?
  • Private: Aye, thoroughly. (Skipper leaves but then comes back up)
  • Skipper: And one more thing! I have one watery, bloodshot, highly-trained eye on you! Understood? (leaves)

Scene IX: Zooviners Shop

  • Mason: (Hammering squeaky hammer) Disturbing the Peace Treaty talk Round 2.
  • Skipper: We've reviewed the treaty! (Treaty on toilet paper) One-sided, demoralizing, insulting, ooh, two-ply, and good to go. (Skipper prepares to sign treaty)
  • King Julien: Not so quickly, tuxedo-bird! We wish to add some teensy appendages. (Takes out toilet-paper treaty, toilet paper roll rolls onto Skipper) Note the last item there. Your'e big-brained penguin will invent for me the solar-powered karaoke.
  • Private: (to Rico) Ooh, ooh, and this one time, this guy said 'Better off wittiful, than a foolish wit" (Laughs) How great is that?
  • Rico: Hold on a minute. (Hacks up earmuffs, and puts them on) Go ahead, keep talking.
  • Skipper: We had a deal!
  • King Julien: And we still do. I have just swapped the parts I don't like with the parts I do like. Take it or heave it.
  • Skipper: Leave it!
  • King Julien: Leave it? Wait, leave what?
  • Skipper: (sighs) I'll sign.
  • Kowalski: (stops him) Skipper, you're not thinking clearly.
  • Private: Apart upon you, you muddy rascals! (laughs) That was a good one.
  • King Julien: Do not try to confuse me with your legal ease!
  • Private: How about... Your just leather-jerkin, crystal-button, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, Spanish pouches! (all stare at him)
  • Mort:... IT'S TRUE! (whines)... I think!
  • King Julien: I do not know these words. But I know when I am insulted. And I am insulted! I HEAVE IT! (snatches Skipper's treaty)
  • Skipper: WAIT, he didn't mean it! Where's a pan? I need a pan!
  • King Julien: (drops treaty on Mort) Too late! Er, good luck snoozing tonight! I am turning the volumes knobby up to "meleven...TEEN"!
  • Skipper: NO! He doesn't speak for us! He's gone AWOL! He's a tin coat! TIN COAT!!!!
  • Kowalski: You're REALLY not thinking clearly. (Skipper's mind is crazily amplified)
  • Private: (In amplified voice) But Skipper, it was the Shakespeare in the park.
  • Skipper: SPEARS, SHAKING, in the park! This is worse than I thought! (fireworks) Did you hear that? Artillery! The Spearshakers are coming! (to Kowalski) Private lockdown!
  • Kowalski: But, Skipper-
  • Skipper: THAT'S AN ORDER, KOWALSKI!!!!!! Eh-eh-eh! (twitches his eye)

Scene X: Central Park

Scene XI: Zooviners

Scene XII: Central Park


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THE END OF THE EPISODE