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Skipper: [following a group of nuns] Blend! Blend! Blend!(hides behind a trash can)
(doorbell rings) Skipper:Who could that be? Ted:Um,if you don't mind, I invited a few friends over. Skipper: (surprised) You what?!
Skipper: Hoover Dam!
Employee: Very generous sir.
Private: Skipper! Skipper: Private! Step on it Kowalski!
Skipper: Eggnog at 2100 hours, writing our names in the snow at 2105. Private: Skipper?
Kowalski: Oh, no. He must be out there all by himself.
Skipper: He's one of us, men. You all know the Penguin Credo.
Kowalski: Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick?
Skipper: No.
[Rico speaks Japanese gibberish]
Skipper: No, that's the Walrus Credo. It's "Never swim alone." Private's out
there all by himself, and we never leave one of our own.
Kowalski and Rico: Oh, yeah.
(Skipper face palms)
Skipper: Let's go.
Private: Thanks for rescuing me, Skipper.
Skipper: Think nothing of it, young Private. It's the least we could do. You
remember the Penguin Credo.
(the penguins stopped in the middle of the way to the Zoo)
Private: What does deep-frying in Bisquick have to do with any of this?
Skipper: Not that one, the other one! "Never swim alone!" Alone! On Christmas!
Don't you get it? Come on people, do I have to explain this to
everybody?
(Rico nods)
Skipper: He's in trouble. Rico: [starts to light a stick of dynamite] Kaboom! Skipper: Stand down, soldier. We're in observation mode.
Skipper: [to the penguins] Grand Coulee Dam! Private's been captured.
Skipper: Engage cranberries!
Skipper: Kowalski, analysis! [Kowalski eats some snow] Kowalski: Mmm... Adrenaline, sweat and sardines. These tracks are fresh sir! Skipper: He's close... I can feel it.
Skipper: Shitake mushrooms! No more Mr. Cute and Cuddly. Rico: [grabs stick of dynamite] Kaboom-kaboom-kaboom! Skipper: Rico! Enough with the dynamite already! Rico: [sighs disappointed] Aww.
Skipper: [to the penguins] Holy butterball! (The fried chicken is stuck and Private's head is stuck in it)
[Mr. Chew starts eating Private's Christmas sock, while Private's in it] Private: Nice doggy! Good Doggy! No, good boy! No! No! Don't eat me! No! [Mr. Chew comes closer to Private and Private starts to panic] Private: Leave me alone! Don't eat me! AAAH! [Skipper, Kowalski and Rico break in through a window, landing safely on a table] Skipper: Santa Claus has come to town! Private: Ooh, Skipper.
Private: But no-one should be sad and alone on Christmas! Skipper: Exactly! So throw those troubles away and be merry! Pronto! Private: But Skipper... Skipper: That's an order mister.
Kowalski: [as Rico drinks Eggnog] Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
[Rico holds an anvil above the elderly lady's head] Skipper: Rico! She didn't see anything! Let's blow this Popsicle stand, boys! Rico: [Regurgitates a dynamite] Kaaboooom? Skipper: Yes, Rico. Kaaboom.
Rico: Eggno-o-o-og! Eggnog! Eggnog!
[Old Lady thinks that Private is a toy.]
Old Lady: Now this is workmanship. So where's the gosh darn squeaker on this
thing? It's gotta have a squeaker.
[Private farts]
Old Lady: Now that's more like it.
Skipper: [to Rico playing the "Knife game" at the dinner table] Rico! Not at
the table.
Skipper: [watching Rico chug eggnog] That boy can really hold down his nog.
Old Lady: [to the taxi driver] I got a tip for ya! Drop dead!
Skipper: What comes down must go up!
TV Announcer: [Private flies across the room] Ryan takes the snap! [Private flies into a table covered in food] TV Announcer: What a hit! Ryan is down!
Skipper: Excelente!
Old Lady: [to Mr. Chew] Why does Christmas have to be every year! What a pain
the the ugh! The tape! It's so sticky!
Skipper: [following Old Lady] Not on my watch, Blue Hair!
Kowalski: How are we going to get inside? Rico: [Lights a fuse] Ka-boom! Ka-boom! Skipper: I have a better idea. [Puts out the fuse] Rico: Oh.
[last lines]
All: [singing] Jingle Bells, monkey's smell
Melman laid an egg
Marty thinks that Alex stinks
And the camels say, "Oy vey!"
[first lines] Private: He looks so sad. Skipper: Rico, I want that tree up to muster.
Skipper: Hold on a second! Something's missing! Kowalski: Cranberries: check! Eggnog: check! Skipper: Give me a headcount. Kowalski: [grabs abacus] We have three heads, sir! Skipper: Where's the private? Kowalski: Unknown sir! It would appear that he's [grabs milk carton] Kowalski: missing! [shows milk carton with a big 'missing' advert for the private] Skipper: Missing? Hoover Dam! Wait, there he is. He just went to bed. [pulls off sheets, revealing a bowling pin underneath] Skipper: What the... [slapping the pin] Skipper: What have you do with Private? Talk, Mister! Kowalski: Skipper, over here. Skipper: [to pin] I'll deal with you later.
Skipper: It's not too late young Private.
[Old lady notices the Christmas decorations are ruined.] Old Lady: Eek! What is all this? [She looks at to Mr. Chew] Old Lady: Mr. Chew, this is all your fault! (Christmas Tree falls) Bad dog! You're in a big time out!
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